Yes, I was laid off from my last job and that's about as nice as I can put it. it hurts to feel like you aren't needed or more to the point; necessary. they sat me down, produced a litany of excuses and rationale to justify my dismissal and then as if changing the subject my supervisor turns, winces and looks over at me out the side of his sagging eyeball. he takes a deep breath as if searching for the words. he wants so badly to soften the blow. he sits upright as the HR manager leans in as if preparing herself to be assailed by me.
"We're gonna let you go."
there are a million moments in your life that pass right by you with so many words and options to choose from. this one is a spike in my vein. be careful of the wanton desires of the ego.
I, being the self fledging pansy-ass that I am, held my tongue, save for a silent out lash of frustration at the fact that I had to work the whole day. Even in the moment there were symbols and innuendo, expletives and cursed images. you have that moment in your life, and its testing you. its testing your fear. i walked out of that building ashamed, not cause i lost my job. jobs come and go. I was ashamed I let it lay there in front of them. i took like a bitch. I could've said something to let the sting fly from me to them. instead i packed up my shit, shook hands with my fellow colleagues, gave my boss the stink-eye and walked the fuck out. how lame!
so that's why i haven't been posting. i was blogging a lot at work, they found out about it and used it as ammunition to get rid of me. now I hope to be more studious with this blog and please accept my apologies for not keeping up with it.
there's a whole lot of shit in the wind.
1 comment:
Thats so lame.
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